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Desiring Deborah wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • When a spouse is deployed for a year, is it a sin to self pleasure yourself or to watch porn?


  { When a spouse is deployed for a year, is it a sin to self pleasure yourself or to watch porn? }

Bob replied:

Dear Deborah,

Thanks for the question, but you already know the answer.

I am sorry that this trial is so difficult, but God can use this time apart to strengthen your love, provided you operate with Him and let His grace fill the void. Masturbation and porn are like poison to the soul and especially to a marriage; don't do it.

When you long for your spouse, offer up the pain for someone who is struggling even more — perhaps someone stuck in Afghanistan who is facing terror and the real possibility of losing their own life or the life of someone in their family.

God is calling us to use our suffering in union with Jesus' Sacrifice on the Cross to help save and change the hearts of mankind.

You are an important part of His Plan. Be brave, be pure, and make your sacrifices count.


Bob Kirby

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