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Dear A.J.,
You will find a good amount of information in our database on this issue.
Here are the basics : Catholic teaching shows the proper context for which God gave us sex, chiefly procreation.
That being said, even in the years following fertility married couples can still enjoy sexual relations with their spouse in order to aid their bond and even their health. But keep in mind the rules don't change just because your bodies have. Condoms deform the act by denying its very conjugal character, and masturbation does likewise, so they are gravely sinful.
Genital stimulation is fine in the context of the overall lovemaking so long as the male ejaculation is in intercourse, not some other act. Since the female orgasm may not be achieved during intercourse, extra manual stimulation to assist her is fine; you should not leave her unsatisfied in that respect.
Sex, even for the mature, is fundamentally a reproductive act, for which God is the Author and Definer of principles. If it were merely about pleasure then every other sort of sex would be fine, because the procreative openness of the act wouldn't matter. But we clearly know that there are boundaries around this sacred gift, so we aim to avoid the profane, and even perverse, which sadly seem to be more and more lauded by the world. However . . .
Holy sex is good sex, and good sex makes a good marriage. That is God's plan, for no other relationship shares this unique privilege, but only the one in which the "two become one flesh."
Peace,
Bob Kirby |
