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Kelly Bolchoz wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • As a Catholic, am I required to have sex during marriage?
  • I understand that it's a sin to partake in intercourse before marriage, but do I have to partake when I am married, or is that not a requirement for a valid marriage?
Kelly
  { As a Catholic, am I required to have sex during marriage (or when I am married)? }

Paul  replied:

Dear Kelly,

A marriage is ratified but not consummated if the couple never has sexual intercourse. This means that, until consummation, a marriage is valid but incomplete, and is also potentially dissoluble.

Implicit in the vows is the perpetual handing over of one's body to the other for sexual purposes. Hence, the notion of marital 'right' or 'debt'. Within reason, one spouse is obliged to render themselves to the other when the other wants marital intimacy.

However, if both spouses choose that there be no sex, and they do not change their minds, and neither is coerced into this decision, I don't think there is any external obligation to contradict this mutual choice.

Paul
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