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Woodie 48 wrote:

Hi, guys —

Our 40-year-old married son just decided to transition to female. He cut off his beard and let his hair grow. He hasn't started any hormones yet but plans to in the near future. He has a 4 ½ year old son and his wife seems OK with the whole situation.

He was brought up Catholic and went to a Catholic school but lost his religion during college. We are trying to stay neutral, but it is tearing my wife and I up inside. We are praying to Mary at Lourdes, and we need a miracle.

If anyone has gone through this and found a way to bring them back, please let us know. We are not finding very much guidance from the Church other than trying not to push too hard so that we alienate him. He lives 800 miles away, so communication is only by text and occasional face time.

Please pray for him and his family.

Woodie 48

  { If any parents have gone through this and found a way to bring them back, can you let us know? }

Bob replied:

Dear friend,

This is obviously more than a doctrinal question but one that requires great pastoral care.  

I would seek out the counsel of a good priest or spiritual director for ongoing guidance.  As a rule we love the sinner but not the sin, so this is how I would proceed.  I would say something like this:

“I love you, and will be here for you in any way I can, but I can’t condone this decision as I believe it is a terrible mistake, one that will harm you and your family, and not to mention your soul, which you may or may not believe in.  We don't have to agree on everything for the bond of love to exist, but I will sincerely pray for you that you rethink this and seek some better guidance (that can help you navigate through gender dysphoria).  Where medical science fails, Christ can heal, and I believe with His help you could conquer this great suffering — others have, and if you seek out those other persons who have been through this, maybe they can help.”

Just try to be a beacon that points to Christ as a Healer and maybe his soul with come around.

Peace,

Bob Kirby
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