Doug,

There is nothing in Church law or doctrine which forbids you and your girlfriend from marrying.

Yes, the Church expects married couples to be open to procreation. Marriage is the covenantal relationship between one man and one woman through which new life enters the world but that doesn't mean that a married couple should only engage in marital love for the purpose of bringing a new life into the world. What the couple cannot do is use artificial means to prevent new life from coming into the world as part of their act of self-giving love.

I would start by reminding your girlfriend that couples too old to have children routinely marry in the Church with the Church's blessing. Nor does the Church demand, teach, or expect that married couples, long past child bearing years, abstain from marital love. Therefore, it is not sin for your girlfriend to be married simply because she can't have children.

All that said, there are other issues that you must consider.

• First and foremost, if you marry her, you must do so knowing that you will never have biological children.
  
  
• Secondly, your girlfriend may have all sorts of emotions and issues to deal with respect to her condition. There is a good probability that she feels less than a woman because she can't give birth. She may be concerned that down the road you may regret the marriage because you wanted biological children and gave that up for her.

While there is no sin in your marriage, you both need to work through these issues before you get married.

John

Hi Doug,

There are a couple of other points. One is that your girlfriend's condition may not be a form of infertility, but rather a condition that makes pregnancy hazardous to her health. Doctors can be vague and they also can over-warn people so as to protect themselves. It would be good to find out exactly what is going on before you propose or don't propose. Anyone on the verge of a proposal is surely permitted, even obligated, to ask such questions.

My colleague, John, is right: It is not sinful to marry without the ability to have children. It is, however, impossible to marry without the ability to have intercourse. As for your girlfriend's opinion of its sinfulness, this might telegraph some underlying attitudes or deficiencies in an appropriate understanding of the faith that you might explore before marriage. I wish you both the best.

I would also recommend that she find a NaProTechnology doctor. Going to this web page:

• NaProTechnology A Major Breakthrough In Monitoring and Maintaining a Woman's Reproductive and Gynecological Health (www.naprotechnology.com)

is a start, but most aren't listed there. I know many who have conceived with the help of this system of diagnosis and treatment.

Mary Ann

Hi Doug,

No problem.

It's a good question. None of us are men of the cloth nor religious sisters, although John does have extensive pastoral experience as a former Baptist minister.

All our biographies can be read here.

We are all ordinary lay Catholic Apologists. A lay person is a normal parishioner in the Church who works in various ministries in support of the Church's mission. Catholic Apologetics is the opposite side of a two-sided coin to Catholic Evangelization. Both the Evangelizer and Apologist use each others skill set. The goal of a Catholic Apologist is to:

• defend practices, teachings, and beliefs
• clarify practices, teachings, and beliefs, and
• give good reasons to become a Catholic.

He/She also:

• preaches
• catechizes
• teaches
• instructs, and
• encourages — using Catholic evangelization skills.

I find it very saddening that if you ask the ordinary Sunday Catholic in the pew:

• What does a Catholic Apologist do?, or
• What is Catholic Apologetics?

They won't have the vaguest idea. I hope this changes in the future.

With the advent of the internet in the  mid 1990's, I believe our group was the first of its kind, at least in the New England area.

I consider our group the Catholic Answers of the New England area.

Hope this answers your question.

Mike