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I recently became engaged. My fiancé is
Catholic and I am a non-denominational Christian.
We have known each other for quite some time
and the differences in our denominations has
never posed a problem for us up until this
point.
We pray together and attend a non-denominational Bible Study together.
At any rate, my fiancé wants to get
married in the Catholic Church. I do not have
a problem with this and have preliminarily
agreed to marry in his Church. My fiancé and
I met with his priest last night and I learned
that in order for us to get married in the
Catholic Church, as the non-Catholic party,
I would need to sign a paper called Permission
for Mixed Marriage and by signing this
document, I would be:
"promising that there will be no
hindrance to the Catholic party in the
practice of [his|her] faith and that any
children by our marriage will be baptized
and raised as Catholics."
I have no qualms about my fiancé practicing
his Catholicism but I have some questions
about the charge regarding raising the children
from our marriage Catholic. I asked
the priest if the phrase:
"any children [by our marriage] will
be baptized and raised as Catholic"
meant that I would allow my children to attend
Mass and participate in the Catholic sacraments.
He basically indicated I was correct.
I have been doing some internet research on
Catholicism on my own so that I could understand
it and grasp the differences between Catholicism
and Protestantism. I was getting somewhat
discouraged until I saw that you are experienced
in answering questions about Catholic theology,
so I am hoping you could kindly clear up some
of my questions.
Thank you in advance; here it goes:
I have heard prayers that begin Hail
Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee
. . .
It seems to me individuals praying this
prayer are praying to Mary. While I understand
that Mary was a virgin when she carried
Christ and she was blessed among women,
I do not understand why one would address
her in prayer. It is my understanding that
there is one sovereign God in three persons
(Father, Son and Holy Spirit) so it is
counter-intuitive for me to understand
why a prayer would begin by addressing
Mary.
Please help me understand who exactly the
person is praying to when praying the Hail Mary.
If I remember correctly, the prayer I
referenced above ends by asking Mary to
pray for us.
How can Mary pray for us if she was
a human who has died?
I understand that she was a Christian
who obviously was given eternal life
and resides with God in Heaven and that
she was definitely blessed and favored
by God, but how can we ask her to pray
for us?
We don't ask any of our deceased relatives
to pray for us, yet we know they were devout
Christians whose spirits, we are pretty
sure, are in Heaven.
RE: The sacrament of Confession.
What is the need for Confession?
Why is there a need for members to confess
their sins to a priest or deacon?
If we have our own personal relationship
with God and the Holy Spirit dwells
inside of us, why can't we confess to
God, on our own, through prayer?
Why are Catholics required to participate
in the sacrament of Confession?
What is exactly is the function of the
Rosary?
RE: Raising your children Catholic.
What exactly does it mean to raise
your children Catholic?
How do I do this when I am a non-denominational
Christian?
Thank-you so much for taking the time to read
this long e-mail. I love my fiancé very
much.
I believe God has been guiding us along our
journey to each other and He gave us this
wonderful gift of love.
I am willing to submit to my fiancé as
the head of our household once he becomes
my husband, and if he feels that Catholicism
is the most appropriate denomination for our
family, then I would like to be on board
with him.
In fact, I am not necessarily opposed
to converting however, I need to make sure the premises and foundational
aspects of the Catholic Church and tradition
are grounded in the Bible before I agree to
adhere to them and agree to allow my children
to be raised in accordance with them.
Again, thank you for your time.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Ashley M.
{
Can you answer some questions from a Protestant fiancée planning to marry a Catholic? }
Mike
replied:
Hi, Ashley —
Thanks for the question(s).
I think these postings will answer
many of your questions; nevertheless,
my colleagues may wish to chime in.
We have answered many similar, if
not identical questions, so you may
want to search our knowledge base. It would also help if you send your question to the team from this page.
1633 In many countries the situation
of a mixed marriage, (marriage
between a Catholic and a baptized
non-Catholic), often arises. It
requires particular attention
on the part of couples and their
pastors. A case of marriage with
disparity of cult (between a Catholic
and a non-baptized person) requires
even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession
between the spouses does not constitute
an insurmountable obstacle for
marriage, when they succeed in
placing in common what they have
received from their respective
communities, and learn from each
other the way in which each lives
in fidelity to Christ. But the
difficulties of mixed marriages
must not be underestimated. They
arise from the fact that the separation
of Christians has not yet been
overcome. The spouses risk experiencing
the tragedy of Christian disunity
even in the heart of their own
home. Disparity of cult can further
aggravate these difficulties.
Differences about faith and the
very notion of marriage, but also
different religious mentalities,
can become sources of tension
in marriage, especially as regards
the education of children. The
temptation to religious indifference
can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force
in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage
needs for liceity the express
permission of ecclesiastical authority. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1124) In case of disparity of cult an
express dispensation from this
impediment is required for the
validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1086) This
permission or dispensation presupposes
that both parties know and do
not exclude the essential ends
and properties of marriage; and
furthermore that the Catholic
party confirms the obligations,
which have been made known to
the non-Catholic party,
of preserving his or her own faith
and ensuring the baptism and education
of the children in the Catholic
Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1125)
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task:
"For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."
It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
In my opinion, you are blessed to
have a Catholic fiancé. It's
my prayer that he is one that is
not ashamed to stand up for what
he believes in. There are many in
our Church today that are uncatechized.
Your interest in what faithful Catholics believe is admirable. If you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.
Hope this helps,
Mike
Eric
replied:
Thank you for your questions, Ashley.
I can see that you are a sincere
seeker and these are good questions
that deserve an answer.
Most of these are already answered
in our Knowledge base.
The Rosary is just a prayer. One
uses it as any prayer. It can either
be prayed for a specific intention
or as a devotion to the Blessed Virgin
Mary. Also see:
To raise your children Catholic: Your obligation is to not hinder
your spouse from raising them Catholic.
That means, as you have been told,
to allow him to have them to be baptized,
catechized, attend Mass, and receive
their sacraments.
It also means not inculcating anti-Catholic
ideas in their heads, although I
don't think it precludes honestly
discussing differences that Mommy
and Daddy have about the faith.
Hope this helps!
Eric
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